Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize