I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
