what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
