I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
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We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize