Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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