I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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