For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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