Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
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Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
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And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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