that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
