Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
