I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
