yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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