five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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