I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
