chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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