if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
