i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
