she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
