butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
