He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
