Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
