come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
