I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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