My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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