when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
