There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
