now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
