Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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