After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize