Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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