she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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