rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
