Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
