Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
