So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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