i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
