we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
