he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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