dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
