i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
