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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you can still come hang out if you want

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I really don't feel like watching you play video games

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?

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• (714): View more from California

  So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place

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• (631): View more from New York

  I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.

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