i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
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I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal