Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.