is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.