Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.

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  (406): my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick. http://tfl.nu/ik4i
  Replies (10) Good night (1064) Bad night (1831)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.

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  (217): we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself. http://tfl.nu/xzvt
  Replies (74) Good night (919) Bad night (4981)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.

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  (940): I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner. http://tfl.nu/au8r
  Replies (41) Good night (4255) Bad night (1645)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

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  (540): he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride http://tfl.nu/4fyt
  Replies (34) Good night (20611) Bad night (1718)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.

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  (314): Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day. http://tfl.nu/blek
  Replies (4) Good night (3151) Bad night (952)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute

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  (705): From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute http://tfl.nu/yhtx
  Replies (8) Good night (1454) Bad night (4081)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"

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  (814): He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind" http://tfl.nu/73d5
  Replies (14) Good night (2894) Bad night (848)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?

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  (610): At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again? http://tfl.nu/9wdz
  Replies (10) Good night (3377) Bad night (824)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.

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  (978): Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant. http://tfl.nu/4fg6
  Replies (40) Good night (1030) Bad night (6502)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy

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  (214): And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/y3l1
  Replies (14) Good night (2145) Bad night (645)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.

  (936): View more from Texas

  As you should.

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  (210): Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis. (936): As you should. http://tfl.nu/jcwt
  Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (1005)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him

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  (314): I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him http://tfl.nu/o7zk
  Replies (3) Good night (1009) Bad night (431)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.

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  (781): You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right. http://tfl.nu/fzy9
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex

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  (817): Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex http://tfl.nu/6b6a
  Replies (3) Good night (973) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern

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  (303): We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool (1-303): We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern http://tfl.nu/3irm
  Replies (8) Good night (734) Bad night (283)

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