is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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