Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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