someone threw a dead crab at me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize