i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
