i barfeds in our rink
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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