My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
