Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out