Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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