Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate