this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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