If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.