I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
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A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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