Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
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Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
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We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.