I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
