you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
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Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?