When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell