i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
