So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
accomplished twins. life is a go
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
