I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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