First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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