3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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