She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
